1-1-2018 Sandra D.
Fear is said by some to be “false evidence appearing real”; which doesn’t do much to console the anxious feeler in times when that fear gets triggered. The law of attraction says that what we give our focus to now becomes our reality later. Pushing fear down or attempting to avoid it is basically denial, and so the trigger remains and the tension builds, polluting our mind and emotions as we do our best to reroute our thoughts. I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic over the last few years, and working as a massage therapist often allows my mind the silence to reveal clarity in whatever ways it presents itself. I can only speak for myself, as I’ve only walked my path and woken up behind these eyes each day. Maybe what I offer rings true for you, as well…
The ego says “i feel too small to accomplish this big day before me”. Spirit reminds me “If you show up with the intention to serve, the energy will flow through you where its needed…. it’s not coming from you anyway, just passing through.”
Ego worries “if im brave enough to be completely authentic, will my family and friends still accept me?”
Spirit reminds me “we are all here to grow through experience, so the only times we would judge another is if we have stopped being present with ourselves”.
Ego hesitates to use all of this voice to speak, write, sing, drum, play; Because what if it makes things worse? Or what if someone finds fault in my expression?
Spirit reminds me “take a breath find gratitude, and let it flow through you; it’s not coming from you anyway. Nobody will ever express a moment exactly like you, so be proud of whatever reveals authentically.”
Ego holds back and wonders, is it safe to trust this person or that one, to be who they seem to be…and what if they wish to do me harm?”
Spirit reminds me “Energy cannot be created or destroyed so that means we are all part of the same energy…which means a part of me has been around forever, and i would never choose to do harm to myself, so I am safe always”.
Ego says “if everything is calm then I will be at peace”.
Spirit reminds me ” If your peace is always dependent on your attachment to situations or people being a certain way, then you will never find it for very long before it can be taken away. There will always be hurricanes and storms, but you must find your centered calm within yourself”.
Last night, the anxiety was triggered as it sometimes can be. I closed my eyes while i played my drum and prayed. Alone in my peace i was reminded that i was untouchable here. Within the hurricane of emotions I could have felt, this time I saw it differently. This energy which has often brought up feelings of nervousness, anxiety, and irritation, instead showed me an opportunity to serve…and so I prayed to heal this source of frustration…because it must keep presenting itself for a reason, or it wouldn’t be an issue. And then, spirit reminded me to pray for my own healing. And so I prayed with everything I had that I am able to heal that part of me which feels upset by the presence of another, for any reason. I prayed to heal that part of myself which gave away my peace… And then, drumming next to the man who loves me; our drums collided with a mighty voice which told me my prayers were received….and then I smiled.